Housefull 3
Director: Sajid-Farhad
Actors: Akshay Kumar, Abhishek Bachchan, Riteish Deshmukh
Rating: 2/5
This film, directed by ‘chutkula lekhaks’ Sajid-Farhad, produced by Sajid Nadiadwala, is third instalment of franchise started by Sajid Khan. Sajid-Wajid haven’t scored the music to add to the coincidence, thankfully.
Such is the ‘Sajidiocy’, deliberately embraced by the filmmakers though, that even if you wished to, you wouldn’t knock this equal-opportunity offender of a film down, for alternatively taking cheap shots at women (maal), or people who’re blind, deaf, black, in a wheelchair, mentally challenged…
You knew what you were getting into. What did you expect? You’ve seen Housefull 1 and 2, and if you recall any of them, you may not even have to watch this film all over again. It is the same movie—basically.
The good thing is, you’re unlikely to remember either part. They were chiefly chewing gums for the brain. And so it feels like we’re watching Housefull with vague memories of what’s likely to happen: Daddy (Boman Irani) protects his three daughters (Jacqueline Fernandes, Nargis Fakhri, Lisa Haydon) in a British mansion, while three con-men (Akshay Kumar, Abhishek Bachchan, Ritesh Deshmukh), pretending to be mute, deaf and lame try to get the girls, cracking some lame jokes along the way.
Guilty-pleasure is complete. You laugh at certain portions, even if you feel terrible about it sometimes. The three heroes are in good form, no doubt. They land the heroines with much ease. Akshay lands the best, at any rate, the funniest role.
At some point, inevitably, the cinema screen in the dark hall starts competing with your little cellphone screen. Which is only fair. As our phones get smarter, our humour clearly appears to be getting dumber. And so I while away my time taking down dialogues from the movie where the heroines translate English lines into Hindi:
“Naukri neeche”: Calm down
“Hum bacche nahin kar rahe”: No kidding
“Paal pous ke bade ho jao”: Grow up
“Thandi wali dawa kha lo”: Take a chill pill
“Bahar latakte hain”: Let’s hang out
“Kaam wali gayi toh kaam wali gayi”: Let bygones be bygones
“Hum behnon ne saandon ki aankh mar di”: Hit the bull’s eye
“Bandook ke bachche”: Son of a gun
“Ek baar ghadi ke upar”: Once upon a time
Boman Irani, in a parallel track, tries to outdo the women with his own gems:
“Insaan mein akl honi chahiye. Surat toh Gujarat mein bhi hai.”
“Sanskar bade hone chahiye. Chhota toh Bheem bhi hai.”
“Heera kyon? Insaan ko insaan hona chahiye. Kohinoor toh chawal bhi hota hai.”
Hmmm. So you know what I mean. It is what it is. It’s time I did a “bandh uppar”, or shut up—like, right now.
Mayank Shekhar’s book NAME PLACE ANIMAL THING, part-serious, part funny non-fiction on desis and pop-culture, is available online and at leading bookstores.